{"id":57589,"date":"2025-07-31T15:33:10","date_gmt":"2025-07-31T15:33:10","guid":{"rendered":"\/a3s5fwi\/member-newsletter-the-leaders-choice\/"},"modified":"2025-07-31T15:33:10","modified_gmt":"2025-07-31T15:33:10","slug":"member-newsletter-the-leaders-choice","status":"publish","type":"product-content","link":"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/a3s5fwi\/member-newsletter-the-leaders-choice\/","title":{"rendered":"Member Newsletter: The Leader’s Choice"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/div><\/div>\n\n

The Leader’s Choice<\/h1>\n\n

By Matthew Hughes, Mindtools Senior Editor<\/p>

\u201cI need to talk to you.\u201d <\/p>

How would you feel if your boss sent you that message? <\/p>

Probably not great, to put it mildly. Personally, I\u2019d immediately think something along the lines of, \u201cWhat have I done wrong? Am I fired?\u201d <\/p>

Now, what if a good friend sent you those exact same words? <\/p>

You might feel anxious, but it\u2019s less likely you\u2019d find yourself in a downward spiral of catastrophizing. <\/p>

Why is that? What\u2019s the difference? <\/p>\n\n

The Inspiring\u2013Infuriating Continuum <\/h2>\n\n

Earlier this year, on the Mindtools Pain Points podcast, I interviewed author, speaker and academic Adam Galinsky on the topic of inspirational leadership. At the time, his new book, \u201cInspire,\u201d was about to launch. It\u2019s based on decades of research from his tenure at Columbia Business School, and it centers around a key principle: as a leader or manager, you can either inspire or infuriate. <\/p>

That’s it. There\u2019s no in-between. Galinsky calls this \u201cthe inspiring\u2013infuriating continuum,\u201d and it\u2019s something the average leader and manager underappreciates.<\/p>

To illustrate, Galinsky told me a story about a moment that still haunts him 30 years later. <\/p>

As a student, he attended a class taught by a hero of his, the Nobel Prize-winning economist Daniel Kahneman. One day, Galinsky worked up the nerve to share a thought with the class. <\/p>

\u201cNo, that\u2019s not right at all,\u201d responded Kahneman. <\/p>

Galinsky was horrified. He can still picture the scene sharply in his mind, so total was his humiliation. <\/p>\n\n

The Leader Amplification Effect<\/h2>\n\n

As a leader, in a position of power, words and actions matter. Much as you might like to be neutral or impartial, you don\u2019t have a choice. Your words and actions will tend toward either the infuriating or the inspiring. <\/p>

This happens because of what Galinsky calls \u201cthe leader amplification effect.\u201d If you\u2019re a leader, the effect of everything you do is multiplied by virtue of your position. If you offer praise or criticism, it will have a much bigger impact on the people you lead than on someone at the same level as you. <\/p>

There are three drivers to this phenomenon. First, attention. <\/strong>You\u2019re a leader so you\u2019re in the spotlight. Everyone is looking at you and they follow your cues. <\/p>

The second driver is power.<\/strong> In a basic sense, the powerful control access to resources, so others are dependent on the powerful. Powerful people determine the fate of those they lead. <\/p>

And the third driver is shared attention.<\/strong> Galinsky and other psychologists have found that encountering stimuli with other people magnifies the effect. Think about how much more likely you are to laugh out loud when watching a comedy movie with a friend or partner than if you\u2019re on your own. Because leaders have the shared attention of their people, the impact is amplified. <\/p>\n\n

The Curse of Knowledge <\/h2>\n\n

So why do leaders so often get this wrong? <\/p>

One reason leaders slip into the infuriating side of the continuum is simply that they\u2019re not aware of the potency of their actions. Galinsky calls this the curse of knowledge. <\/p>

When your boss says, \u201cI need to talk to you later,\u201d they <\/strong>know it\u2019s to get some clarity on your upcoming presentation. But you don\u2019t, and so you spend several tortured hours convinced it’s the end of your career. <\/p>

It doesn\u2019t help that leaders often have multiple demands on their attention. They\u2019re also concerned with impressing their own superiors and not messing up their jobs. <\/p>

Still, the curse of knowledge is a failure in perspective taking and a failure in empathy \u2013 with potentially severe consequences. If employees spend their time infuriated by their manager, they can become edgy, anxious and unmotivated. They might even end up leaving. A survey from LinkedIn<\/a> last year showed that seven in 10 U.S. workers would leave their job because of a bad manager. <\/p>\n\n

From Infuriating to Inspiring<\/h2>\n\n

Some people call this effect the \u201cleadership shadow,\u201d but I like Galinsky\u2019s idea of \u201camplification.\u201d Shadows are eerie and menacing. But there are upsides to this phenomenon.<\/p>

With minimal effort, a leader can supercharge an employee\u2019s self-worth, their motivation, and their happiness in their job. A few well-chosen words can make someone\u2019s day.<\/p>

Galinksy told me another story. Not long after Kahneman voiced his disagreement in class, Galinksy passed him walking down a hall. Kahneman casually told Galinksy how much he enjoyed his papers. \u201cYou\u2019re a great writer,\u201d he said. \u201cKeep it up.\u201d This time, Galinsky practically floated home on a cloud of joy. <\/p>\n\n

A Wider Perspective <\/h2>\n\n

The way to become inspiring is to be aware of the amplification effect. Improve your awareness by taking a wider perspective. What might others think of your words and actions?<\/p>

Always give people a \u201cwhy\u201d when you ask them something. Invite them inside your head by offering your reasoning. Do this enough and it will become second nature. <\/p>

Another good rule of thumb is to be careful in your criticism and generous in your praise. Saying, \u201cThat\u2019s no good, start again,\u201d has the potential to shatter someone’s confidence. But a simple, \u201cAmazing stuff, keep it up!\u201d could light up their day. <\/p>

Research shows<\/a> that the highest performing teams have a 6:1 positive to negative feedback ratio. For every piece of negative feedback, managers should be giving six pieces of positive feedback. All those positive comments inspire confidence, and they buy you reserves of goodwill that can be \u201ccashed in\u201d when you need to give constructive feedback. <\/p>

So, the next time you notice a less powerful person hit a task out of the park, let them know it! <\/p>\n\n

\u201cI Need to Talk to You\u201d <\/h2>\n\n

Let\u2019s get back to our opening phrase. As a leader, those words can conjure a mountain of anxiety and fear in your people. Galinsky has firsthand experience of this.<\/p>

In our interview, he told me how he once messaged a junior researcher those exact words. Why? He simply wanted to go over some of her research materials with her. When she learned this, she shouted, \u201cNever do that to me again!\u201d <\/p>

What he should have done was say exactly why<\/strong> he wanted to talk to her. The ambiguity of his words was filled with the researcher\u2019s worst nightmares and deepest insecurities. As a manager, what might seem a harmless ask to you can sound ominous and doom-laden to people within your remit of authority. <\/p>

So, when you interact with your people, always remember \u2013 you can either inspire or infuriate. As Galinsky said to me, \u201cNeutrality isn\u2019t an option.\u201d You will<\/strong> have an impact, and it will be either positive or negative. Which do you want yours to be? <\/p>\n\n

What\u2019s Next?<\/h2>\n\n

It might sound easy, but many people struggle with giving praise. See our articles The Power of Praise and Recognition<\/a> and Celebrating Achievement<\/a> for more on how to inspire. And our How to Inspire Your People<\/a> infographic shows how to harness the power of transformational leadership. <\/p>

Feedback is also an important piece of the puzzle. Take our quiz How Good Is Your Feedback?<\/a> to see how you stack up and where you can improve. To learn more about the 6:1 feedback ratio, see our expert video Preventing Poor Performance Through Feedback<\/a>. <\/p>

To hear the full interview with Adam Galinsky, see Pain Points Podcast: Inspirational Leadership<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n

Tip of the Week<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Ask Better Questions, Get Better Conversations<\/h2>\n\n

By Simon Bell, Mindtools Content Writer and Editor<\/p>

When it comes to coaching your team, open questions are your best friend. They spark reflection, unlock insight and keep the conversation flowing. Instead of yes\/no questions, try asking things like:<\/p>