Even with the best will in the world, one-on-one conversations can fail to get the results we want, or that we expect.<\/p>
We may make flawed assumptions about another person’s point of view, which steer the conversation off course. Or, we might use language that is open to different interpretations, causing misunderstandings and confusion.<\/p>
Adopting the Clean Language technique can minimize or eliminate these misunderstandings. Following a few simple guidelines, and asking the right kind of questions, allows you to communicate with greater clarity, and to make stronger connections with people.<\/p>
In this article, we explore what Clean Language means, and how you can use it to improve your communications at work.<\/p>\n\n
Psychotherapist David Grove<\/a> developed Clean Language in the 1980s. He realized that many therapists subtly influenced what their clients said during their sessions \u2013 and noticed that this was particularly true when both parties were using metaphors<\/strong>.<\/p> To combat this, Grove created Clean Language. The approach is simple: the questioner keeps their own thoughts, assumptions and metaphors out of the conversation as far as possible.<\/p> And, if the speaker uses a metaphor to describe something, the questioner uses a series of follow-up questions to make sure that they understand the speaker’s meaning clearly.<\/p>\n\n In their 2003 book, “Metaphors We Live By<\/a>,” linguists George Lakoff and Mark Johnson define a metaphor as a way of making sense of something by comparing it to something else.<\/p> Here are some common examples:<\/p> We all use metaphors far more than we realize, and our choice of metaphors says a lot about us as individuals. Metaphors reflect and help to shape our view of the world.<\/p> David Grove observed that when therapists use metaphors while working with clients, it can affect the client’s decision making and limit their ability to resolve issues for themselves.<\/p> The same is true at work. When we use metaphors to “frame” an issue in a certain way, we direct people toward our own interpretation of the situation.<\/p> <\/p>\n\n When someone uses a metaphor in conversation, there are nine basic Clean Language questions that you can use to ensure that you understand their meaning correctly:<\/p> Reproduced from ‘Metaphors in Mind<\/a>‘ by James Lawley and Penny Tompkins. For more information about the “Symbolic Modeling” process, which uses the Clean Language questions, visit their website<\/a>. We have made every effort to contact the copyright holder. If you are the copyright holder, please contact us here<\/a>.<\/p> Other practitioners have expanded the range of questions that you can ask. That’s why you may see articles that mention, for example, “The 12 Clean Language Questions.” Some practitioners use up to 20 questions.<\/p><\/div><\/div>\n\n Although Clean Language originated in psychotherapy, there are many benefits to using it in the workplace. This is particularly true in one-on-one situations, where you need to find out how a team member is really thinking and feeling.<\/p> First, the technique helps to increase your team member’s self-awareness<\/a>. When you reflect a person’s own metaphors back to them, you enable them to spot patterns and associations in their thinking. This can give them new insights into their own thoughts and behaviors.<\/p> Clean Language also helps you to build rapport<\/a>, or personal connections with people. When you mirror their language, they will likely feel supported, respected and listened to. And they’ll be more motivated to improve their situation.<\/p>\n\n Clean Language can be useful in coaching<\/a> or mentoring sessions. It can reveal hidden or unconscious thoughts, which you can use to explore a situation or problem.<\/p> You can apply Clean Language in other settings, too. For example, you could use it in recruitment interviews, to probe more deeply into candidates’ answers to your questions. It’s also useful when resolving conflict<\/a>, as it can help both parties to understand a situation from different perspectives.<\/p> Using Clean Language does take practice, and it may feel awkward or unwieldy at first. A good way to practice the technique is to pay attention to the metaphors that people use in everyday conversation. Try it, and see how many you can spot!<\/p> Then, count how many metaphors you use during the day. Try to reduce this number by using Clean Language when you’re speaking with others. Role-Playing<\/a> the technique with a co-worker can also help you to become more comfortable with it.<\/p>\n\n When you use Clean Language for coaching, be aware of the other person’s gestures and vocal tones, as well as what they are saying.<\/p> Speak more slowly and in a slightly deeper voice than the other person. Try to mirror their intonation and body language as much as possible, but without making it feel awkward or unnatural. This can help the speaker to relax and talk more openly.<\/p> This mirroring process is similar to the one used in Neuro-Linguistic Programming<\/a>, and in other communication strategies that aim to build rapport.<\/p><\/div><\/div>\n\n Applying the principles of Clean Language has an established sequence, which you can use in any one-on-one situation.<\/p>\n\n Pay close attention to what the other person says. Your goal is to identify the metaphors they use to define their experiences.<\/p> Metaphors are often preceded with the word “like.” These are known as similes<\/strong>. For instance, “I feel like a sick dog” or “This department is like a sinking ship” are both similes, but they’re still examples of metaphorical language.<\/p> Of course, a department isn’t literally like a sinking ship. Someone who uses this metaphor is not describing the facts of a situation; they’re describing what the situation feels like to them.<\/p> Here’s a more subtle example. In the phrase, “Samira needs to build her confidence,” “build” is a metaphor. Samira is not literally building her confidence in the same way you would build a house. It’s a figure of speech.<\/p> Metaphors can also be single words that don’t make sense when the phrase is taken literally, such as, “He’s nuts!” Again, you’re not saying someone’s a nut \u2013 it’s just an expression.<\/p> Identifying metaphors can be challenging at first. Many metaphors are common to the point of clich\u00e9, and we don’t think twice about using them. This makes Active Listening<\/a> skills very important.<\/p>\n\n When the person has finished speaking, use one of the nine Clean Language questions to clarify what they’re saying. Out of the nine, the first two are used most often.<\/p> And is there anything else about \u2026?<\/p> And what kind of \u2026 is that \u2026?<\/p> Remember, your focus should be entirely on the person you’re talking to. Avoid sharing your own opinions or offering advice. Whenever possible, reflect the speaker’s own words back to them in your questions.<\/p><\/div><\/div>\n\n Each Clean Language question you use will likely provoke new insights in the person you’re talking to. Keep asking questions until they have explored their feelings fully, or they have found their own way to understand the situation.<\/p> <\/p>\n\n Clean Language is often best understood by comparing it with “regular” questioning techniques, which can be described as “Unclean.” Here’s an example of what can happen when each technique is used.<\/p>\n\n <\/p> Team member: <\/strong>“I feel stuck in my department.”<\/p> Coach:<\/strong> “Is your manager hard to work with? Or are there no opportunities for you to advance?”<\/p> Team member:<\/strong> “I guess there’s little opportunity for advancement. I’m not sure. I just feel like I’m stuck there.”<\/p> In this conversation, the coach added their own ideas to the conversation before the team member could communicate exactly why they felt stuck.<\/p> The coach has led the coachee to the idea that they have little opportunity to advance, instead of allowing them to arrive at this explanation on their own. With a different use of language, they might have reached a deeper understanding of why the team member felt this way.<\/p>\n\n <\/p> Team member:<\/strong> “I feel stuck in my department.”<\/p> Coach:<\/strong> “You feel stuck. And what kind of stuck does that stuck look like?”<\/p> Team member:<\/strong> “I work on the same projects all the time. It’s like I don’t really matter.”<\/p> Coach: <\/strong>“And is there anything else about feeling like you don’t matter?”<\/p> Team member: <\/strong>“Well, I used to feel like I was valued. My boss always asked my opinion about big projects. But my new manager never seeks my advice or sends me challenging assignments. So I’m just spinning my wheels there.”<\/p> When the coach used the Clean Language approach, the team member realized that the real reason they felt stuck was that they no longer felt valued. The root of the problem was their relationship with their new boss.<\/p> Clean Language calls for the questioner to keep their own thoughts, assumptions and metaphors out of the conversation as much as possible. This allows the team member to explore their own thoughts and feelings about the situation.<\/p> Psychotherapist David Grove developed the Clean Language technique in the 1980s. It aims to improve communication and avoid misunderstandings by stopping one person from influencing the other’s thoughts and feelings during a conversation.<\/p> Clean Language requires you to use specific, non-leading questions; to “mirror” the speaker’s words, intonation, and body language.<\/p> Clean Language is used to clarify the metaphors people use to describe their situation.<\/p> In coaching or mentoring sessions, this approach can help team members to develop greater self-awareness. It encourages them to relax and speak openly, to explore their own solutions to a problem, and to make their own decisions.<\/p><\/div><\/div>What Is a Metaphor?<\/h3>\n\n
Clean Language Questions<\/h2>\n\n
Note:<\/h4>\n\n
The Benefits of Using Clean Language<\/h2>\n\n
Using Clean Language at Work<\/h2>\n\n
Using Clean Language for Coaching<\/h2>\n\n
Note:<\/h4>\n\n
Practical Application of Clean Language<\/h2>\n\n
1. Listen for Metaphors<\/h3>\n\n
2. Ask a Clean Language Question<\/h3>\n\n
Tip:<\/h4>\n\n
3. Keep Going<\/h3>\n\n
Clean Language Example<\/h2>\n\n
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Unclean Language Example<\/h4>\n\n
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Clean Language Example<\/h4>\n\n
Key Points<\/h4>\n\n